Order the Fuckin Pancakes

Coming home from Maria's 22nd bday clubbing at Honey Lounge on Hastings, me and 3 boys ( I was one of the guys that night) want nothing more than food. Denny's on Lougheed it was! Mark, who sometimes act more like a girl was sitting beside me. And I don't know how me and him got into stuck in a vicious cycle of asking each other:
Me:"Hey, should I get pancakes?" and Mark would say something like "Yeah I want pancakes too." And then I'd go back and say "Wait, I don't know if I can eat all of them." Mark again, "Hmm..yeah I want to get something else too, but I still want some pancakes."

10 minutes later, Chad and Chris were ready to kill us. Until Chris screams "Order the fucking pancakes!"

And you know what, we did. And they were good pancakes.

Ever since then, whenever my friends see me being indicisive. They're not afraid to yell "Order the fucking pancakes."

So that brings me to today's events.

A couple of night ago, I saw IronMan with cheer girls/guys. Sidenote: Pretty damn good movie, you should watch! One of them lets me know that there's a job opening at his company - a pretty big company, multinational. I was a bit hesitant to reply because I just came back from Vegas and LA trip and I'm just more inclined to do school.

Next night, thought about it some more.

The morning of, I called off the interview that my friend set up (Now looking back, I really am an idiot) I did have some reservation: 1) being school, 2) it will be a rushed day

Pause. I was just watching "Twilight" trailer on my other window. It looks like a good movie, based on a book. My manager loves vampire stories. Must tell her hehe...

Anyways, back to my story. I was thinking about this interview all day at work. I felt I made a very unnecessary action of letting go of something because of my anxiety about the future.

But you know what, there was just something about today. As if I was being cautiously led back to the same path - I dunno, call it a woman's instinct. During the day, work was slow in the morning. My boss tells me she's leaving work early to get some shots. The later part of lunch picked up a bit and I was a bit scared that I might not finish before 4 (interview was at 5 and an hr away). All this time, in the back of my mind is that chance I let go of. I think this is the worst worst worst state you can let your mind get into. I didn't know how to confront this. Looking back in the past, as I have done many times too- in relationships, etc. It's harmful because these thoughts can really consume you. Even for a bit, my manager asked me if I was okay, asked me if I had too many things on hand and that she would alleviate some. But I said I was fine.

Sometime between lunch and 3pm, I texted my dad and told him that I am second guessing my decision. I felt anguish and awful. I mean I know it won't be too bad, but it came to the point that I know I would look back at this.

I texted my sister and obviously, I knew she would say something stupid like "ohh you bitch, I told you to take it! You need to be more user-friendly" Who knows what that means

3:30. Jeanny asked me if I had anything else that needs to be done. Oh I love you Jean!! Yes, she helped me with the other funding loans. I have some things I left, but I told Nick that I would come in early tomorrow and do them then.

I felt this rush! I left work. Told my dad to help me fix my resume a bit.
I texted E on skytrain : "Hey, did I miss the boat. I've been thinking about this interview. Can I still go?"

He replied. "Hahaha, if you can make it"

And everything else fell into place, and somehow, there's a very small voice inside me that says they all would. As I got off the skytrain, the bus 116 was just about to leave! 4:40 and I was already by glenlyons park. I asked the bus driver if he could let me know when we arrive at Best Buy HQ. A few minutes later he asked if I want the Best Buy store or HQ. I said HQ, and he said "I thought so too. You look all dressed up". "Thank you, I'm going for an interview that my friend set me up two days ago." And the next few words he said really made me happy. He said that he has a feeling that I will get that job. I laughed. "Are you sure?" And he said yes many times over. It was drizzling and a bit cold outside. Me, my skirt and white blouse. I didn't care! That was a good bus driver. Good man!

I'm singing in the rain...lala

My dad was waiting by the Best Buy parking lot to work on resume. Im so last minute. He waved. Awww I love my dad. He is sooo supportive! =) I don't know how he seems calm and unaffected by my craziness and all the rush. I felt I had adrenaline pumping through my veins non stop.

So to top the day off, my phone just had to die right when E was calling. And again, I jumped on a stranger and asked him to borrow his phone. I was just waiting for my dad to finish printing off resume. Told him my dad works with him at Nokia.
Anyways, got to Best buy finally. I couldnt access E's number using my dad's cell. So I asked for him from the guard.

All I could do was sit and wait. And that was not good for someone pumping with so much adrenaline. I need to run or something. But finally, E walked out with my resume! Hahhaha shit, oh yeah I forgot my resume in the car, the one my dad rushed to print. More often than not, my little sister would call me a waste of life. And this is one of those times when I think I am.

Anyways, I didnt need to print resume. Chatted with E for a bit.

N was the person conducting the interview, and I like him. Hope he likes me too. Anyways it was awesome.

I bought myself icecream. It's all good :D

Oh yeah moral:
CONVICTION
DRIVE
INSTINCT

or save yourself the trouble, "just order the fucking pancakes!"

AND STICK WITH IT!